I start yawning in the evening and realize I’m tired, so I go to bed.

I start yawning in the evening and my partner says “Maybe you should go to bed.” I agree and go to bed.

I look at the clock and see that it is eleven pm and realize that I have an early meeting in the morning; and so I go to bed.

Three different reasons for going to bed. The first is based on my physical feeling, the second somewhat on another’s opinion, the third largely driven by a societal expectation. Knowing why we want things helps us live more Exuberantly — after all if the reason I’m choosing to go to bed is someone else’s idea or what I think others expect of me, it will be challenging to live Exuberantly or see Wonder.

This happened to me this morning:

I woke up hungry and wanted breakfast. While making coffee I realized yesterday’s workout left me wanting protein, so I considered making sausage. Then I remembered how I felt the last time I ate sausage on such a day, felt my muscles tight, and chose to eat a banana with peanut butter.

Three different thoughts again, one general desire (food) leading to two specific choices. The inputs were hunger, yesterday’s workout leading both to a desire for protein and stiff muscles. I also recalled how poorly I felt the last time I had sausage early in the morning. I realized that what I wanted was to feel energetic and Exuberant.

Finding out what motivates us to choose the things we do is valuable. When we know why we do things, we can in turn understand why we feel the way we do after doing them. If I do something that I chose for myself (often doing something for another), I am more open to Wonder and more likely to feel Exuberant while doing it. If what I do is for reasons other than what I would choose alone, I’m going to feel the obligation and the need to meet someone else’s expectations; and that focus makes it harder to see Wonder or experience Exuberance.

Here is a trick: once I know why I’m doing something, any time I’m doing something that is not my own choice, something I do for another or because others expect it of me, I can reexamine the action and find a way to make it or a part of it something I can choose. For example, if I must arise far earlier in the morning than I would choose, some of the things I can look forward to are the quiet of an early morning, hearing the birds I don’t usually hear, and seeing a sunrise.

The experience of Wonder that I often sleep through is a special opportunity, and leaves me feeling Exuberant as I meet whatever it is that got me up in the morning. And Exuberance if infectious,.