In researching for The Philosophy of Exuberance, I started looking at the concept of “mental energy.” There was more research than I expected, with investigators working hard to find ways to measure the level of someone’s mental energy. What struck me going through the articles was that there seem to be two camps: one looking at increasing mental energy and another looking at ways to manage mental energy. Those two approaches brought me back to Exuberance, with one approach seeing mental energy as something that can increase (or decrease) and one that sees a limited pool of mental energy that could be used up.
Exuberance is a life-affirming and abundance-recognizing way of being in the world; and is full of positive energy — even when one becomes utterly still in the presence of Wonder. Meh is the feeling that there is nothing interesting or important at the moment, and draws down the mental, emotional, and physical energy of the person experiencing it.
We’ve all experienced times when we’ve been so into what we’re doing that concepts like time and effort don’t apply. Of course what we do takes time and requires energy, but it doesn’t seem like it does. Oddly, after doing something so intense we find that we have more energy than when we started.
We’ve also all experienced times when we began a task with an abundance of energy only to find that we grow quickly tired and start asking how much longer it will take. Time passes slowly, and we are aware of the diminishing energy we have for whatever we’re doing. This is meh.
In the first example, something is happening where what we put out into the world comes back to us as something more. (Not more in a quantitative way, but a qualitative way such as the difference between store-bought cookies made and homemade cookies.) As we continue the process, so do we give more and receive more back, being in a state of Exuberance.
In the second example, something is happening where what we put out seems to go into a void, nothing comes back. Something is holding us back, an intuition of Meh — the energy-sapping state that is the opposite of Exuberance.
Why? How can we know before we begin whether an experience is going to energizing or draining?
Here is an exercise: Think about what you are about to do, and say or think these words: “I get to do this.” If you feel yourself getting excited by the prospect of the doing that is likely something that would allow you be in an Exuberant space. If you feel Meh, you have a sense that is is something that will take more out of you than it gives. It is as if our intuition is urging us toward Exuberance and away from Meh.
To make this more concrete and to give an example that shows how mental energy translates into physical energy, I recommend this article that shows a simple and well-designed experiment on the link between Exuberance, Meh, and energy. (Though the article doesn’t use those words, it is not hard to see how those terms apply.)
In the study one question arises that has meaning here: how do we know if something we want to do is possible? The answer is that we cannot know, but we can believe that it is possible. Believing in the possibility literally made people in the study more likely to have the energy to achieve their goal.
For people whose life is spent in service to others, self-care often takes second place. There are so many needs, and our contributions may seem to go without much appreciation in return. Such caring for others may carry a dark side of self-sacrifice, burn out or resentment. We can end up feeling like victims ourselves. Our most precious relationships may suffer from lack of attention and care, however we can choose not to have this happen. We have the power to choose our own perceptions and moods. Using stories drawn from his own life and the research for his upcoming book, Exuberance, Don Arnoudse will show how we can better “take care of our light”. He will engage the audience in a brief self-reflection and discussion of what actions each of us can take now to refresh and sustain our natural exuberant energy.
There is a lot in your comment that I recognize; and yes, we can find ourselves in situations where what we choose to do leaves us in the meh space. Thank you for the well-considered comment. I’ve looked at what the gentleman you’ve referred to is doing, and it seems like our works compliment each other rather than duplicating each other.
It wounds from what you’ve summarized that the talk will be about preserving our mental energy, to stay within the metaphor of this post. There is a real challenge in doing what we believe is “right” that means we expend a great deal of mental energy doing things for another, and the studies on caregiver “burnout” are telling. Your comment has spurred thoughts that will likely become a post in the future.
Briefly, there is a significant difference between “what I have to do” and doing “what I choose to do.” I’ve held a variety of jobs that were the very definition of meh; and what I learned over time that I could life-affirming exuberance in certain aspects of the job and work environment. I knew the company for which I worked didn’t care one way or the other about me, but I could develop relationships with clients and coworkers that showed how what I did mattered in a positive way. Expecting energy back from other people to whom we give things is not likely to end well, and that’s why knowing why we do what we do, and choosing the Exuberant path, can change the basic equation of mental energy.
But is seems that placing necessity before desire is near impossible for many people in our world these days. But Jesus has helped me through this challenge many times before. By making Him my necessity, I have discovered all that I’ve ever needed, and more. Focusing on Christ is the method that has brought many miraculous changes to my life.
I’m glad you have found a source of comfort.
In a more wordly sense, I have been inspired to write this post, which was spurred by your comments. What may begin as a sense of obligation can become something else.
https://theexuberantlife.com/duty-others-and-exuberance/